I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
