Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
