I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
