Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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