he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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