dude i'm inner monologue high
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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