therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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