Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize