are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
