You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
