i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize