Midget sex pt 2 tonight
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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