when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize