office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
