the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
