We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
