OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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