I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
