If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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