Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
