how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
