My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
