I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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