called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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