She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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