Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
