He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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