If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
