I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
