Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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