I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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