So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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