You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
