I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone threw a dead crab at me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
