I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think your dad took our porno
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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