Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
