I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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