Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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