i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
