We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
