I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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