I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
