I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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