One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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