SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
