I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize