Did you just see the Batmobile???
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize