i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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