Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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