paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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