i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
