Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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