I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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