I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
