Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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