1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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