if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
