Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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