On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
